


Past and Present Sins

by howlingwolvesonfire



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drabble-esque, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, and half "recognizing trauma and healing together", half "wacky child antics", ongoing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 01:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 15,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22228015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howlingwolvesonfire/pseuds/howlingwolvesonfire
Summary: Ultear's spell does transform her, but not into an old woman. Now Crime Sorciere has a three-year-old to take care of, and really, none of them should be taking care of children–especially not this one.
Relationships: Jellal Fernandes & Ultear Milkovich, Meredy & Ultear Milkovich, Ultear Milkovich & Oracion Seis
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41
Collections: Crime Sorciere/Oracion Seis Week 2020





	1. last ages

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, this story is also on FF.net but I see a lot of people are migrating/using A03 more so I decided to post this here as well. Forgive me if anything's funky, using this site is going to be a learning curve. 
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy the first "batch" of this fic. Wips of the second one are being worked on currently but I'll be real that I have no idea when they'll be up. These first ones focus on the main three while the second batch is on the OS and their reactions. If I see this gets a fair amount of feedback I might set aside more time for that! 
> 
> Enjoy!

_i._

It burned.

She knew there would be a cost–a great cost–but the pain still overtook her almost immediately. A horrible fire spread throughout her body, like she was being consumed by a blaze from within. The pain truly unbearable.

One minute.

That was all the time she had stolen back. A single minute. Had she the strength she would have howled in frustration. A mere minute. Not enough time to change anyone's fate but her own. Dragons still roared above her, screams of allies and enemies alike could still be heard throughout Crocus. She had failed, and her fate was now sealed.

The fire that had pulsed throughout her veins just moments before now seemed to be satisfied with her meager offering and began retreating, going from burning to freezing in an instant. Strangely, along with the lack of heat, she could feel a shift inside herself, as if her body was getting…smaller. Ultear hardly had time to ponder this before she collapsed. Alone. Ashamed. Afraid.

She stayed there, motionless, as the battle for the Eclipse Gate roared and thundered above her, the extra minute she gained back ticking forward once again, as her own body grew smaller, and smaller, and smaller. Until it finally stopped.

* * *

"Jellal! I can't find her! Jellal!" A nearly hysterical Meredy screams at the man, who winces out of pain and frustration. They had been searching since the battle ended with not even a glimpse of the time mage anywhere.

"She must be around here somewhere, keep calm-" but she's already looking away. Something's caught her eye. A small child sits on the broken stone, the cloth draped around it far too big for its toddler body, the dark blue fabric uncomfortably familiar looking. In (her?) hand is a bright-white ribbon wrapped carefully around. The child glances over at them.

She's running towards her. He doesn't understand until she cries, "Ultear!"

Dark hair, red eyes widen as Meredy embraces her, sobbing. Jellal can hardly believe it, even as he gets closer, hands trembling. He can see now that she's wrapped in her cloak–Ultear's cloak. It can't be, it can't be.

There's no recognition in her eyes, no glimmer of understanding as she stares at him; but there's no fear either, like she's been waiting this whole time for them without knowing why.

"Where's mama?" Her voice is so quiet. There's no hint of the steadfast, calculating woman he knew, only a child that wished for her mother again. He drops to his knees. Meredy pulls her in closer, the sobs from before showing no signs of stopping.

"Ultear, what did you do?" Jellal's voice is barely a whisper, and despite himself, he can feel a tear begin to flow.

The little girl looks at the man on his knees and then the woman crying and holding her before looking at the pale morning sky. It smells of a new day. She wonders when she'll get to see her mama again.


	2. remembering

_ii._

The first week was perhaps the most difficult, not in terms of child-rearing but in simply deciding what they were going to do.

Jellal was against any notion of keeping the now toddler Ultear. "We don't even know if she _knows_ us Meredy, she barely talks and I won't be liable for _child endangerment_ anymore than I already am."

"I'm not abandoning her! I can take care of her myself!" Meredy proclaimed while the child in question sat in the field they had stopped in for a break. Oblivious to the grown-ups arguing, she picked at the dandelions spotting the open field.

"Meredy, we _can't_ run an independent guild and fight criminals if we constantly have a three-year-old to think about in the back of our head. We can leave her in a safe place, a nice village, and eventually, she'll forget about us-"

The emotion mage bellowed, "I don't want her to forget!" Jellal took a step back, shocked a the sheer intensity bubbling over inside of Meredy. Tears filled the corners of her eyes as she repeated, much quieter, "I don't want her to forget."

A hand tugged at the edge of her cape. Ultear's pudgy toddler fingers held a bright yellow dandelion, wrapped around and tied in a bracelet. Her wrist already bore one. "For you," she said.

Meredy could hardly hold back the tears as she slipped on the crudely made bracelet and embraced Ultear, who at this point anticipated the crushing hugs Meredy gave and embraced in return. Jellal could only watch solemnly as he turned away, exhausted from arguing and not willing to continue on in Ultear's sight.

He wondered how long it could last.


	3. routine

_iii._

Jellal and Meredy, quicker than even they could have anticipated, fell into a new routine.

Having a three-year-old in tow meant having a meticulous schedule–even more so than before.

Ultear required more frequent breaks, as her tiny body could–at the best of times–barely keep up with the two adults. While normally pleasantly quiet and obedient for her age, the toddler would grow into a cranky fury if she hadn't napped all day. Jellal and Meredy took turns carrying her on their backs to rest (Meredy even later fashioning a sling to carry her in, making her the much preferred option to Ultear).

The breaks also grew longer, as Ultear stopped to play in the nearby forests or sit in a field quietly picking flowers with Meredy. Jellal made it a point to not interact with her for extended periods of time; his mindset still firmly that getting overly attached to this new version of Ultear could only lead to trouble. Meredy promptly ignored his gloomy attitude and doted on her small mother figure as much as she was able.

Food also caused them delay, as Meredy frequented towns more often for food that wasn't the wildlife in the forests or the natural herbs and berries they had picked from before. (Jellal wasn't fond of the idea of risking capture for bread, but they'd been fighting enough lately so he let just one more thing slide.)

When traveling, they fell naturally into certain spots. From a distance, they could almost be read as a family unit. Jellal at the head of the line, ever diligent to the danger around them, while Meredy grasped Ultear's hand as the two of them plodded behind Jellal's lead. It was only if someone grew close that they could see the cracks beginning to show. The bags under their eyes (even more so than before), the tight line constantly plastered on Jellal's face as he watches the two girls advance slowly, too slowly; as they had been since Ultear joined them. Even Meredy, for her bright smiles, is far more tired than usual, her energy being used upon Ultear more than herself nowadays.

But it's not until they settle down to camp at night with Ultear sleeping soundly in her lap that Meredy breaks a little bit; the tears she promised not to show her springing up at the corners of her eyes while she pats Ultear's soft black hair as she sleeps. She cries out of stress and out of fear; because she cannot admit that deep down, she acknowledges his concerns. She'll be damned if she admits that he's right (making her wrong). She has to remain strong. For both of them now.

Jellal does not comfort her. How can he, if he won't even look her in the eyes much anymore.

So they take turns sleeping next to her and going on watch, and in the morning, they'll get up and fall back into their places.

A happy little family…if only from a distance.


	4. disaster

_iv._

More than two months in, disaster almost strikes.

They aren't paying attention, or maybe they were but on the wrong things. A child's shriek is all they get before they see Ultear being whisked away by one of the dark mages from the dark guild they were taking out in the area.

It's dark with rolling clouds overhead. Woods as far as the eye could see but trees so narrow and far apart it was no wonder they found her hiding. Jellal moves to take aim at the kidnapper, mind already racing with the worst possible outcomes of this fight. Before he can do anything, however, a screech of pain erupts from the attempted kidnapper's mouth as he falls to the ground, flinging Ultear a few feet away. A bright pink maguility line circles around his arm as he collapses.

Jellal takes the opportunity to dash over and scoop up Ultear before calling, "Retreat!" Meredy grits her teeth and stops her assault on the dark mage she had linked to the kidnapper and runs in Jellal's direction. Eager for a reason to flee, the remaining dark guild members decide not to take any more chances and run in the opposite direction.

* * *

Jellal pants. They've lost them. Or where they even being followed in the first place?

The weight in his arms reminds him of the reason they fled and he can feel the frustrations of the past couple months once again build inside him, until….

She's crying. Not the tantrum cries he's grown used to, or the occasional cry from falling down or getting hurt, but this is just full on sobbing. Her tiny fists close tight around his undershirt and he realizes that he's holding on just as tight. He drops to his knees and wheezes, completely out of breath.

Meredy stumbles in just behind him, already reaching towards Ultear's tiny shaking body. Tears are streaming down her cheeks as she pants, "I-Is she ok?"

"She's-" Jellal stops from answering to look down at the child in his arms and then at the woman whom he risks life and limb with every day. He steadies himself, not letting go of Ultear as she continues to cry against him.

"I don't know if she is, but we're not going to be if this happens again. Meredy." He looks his partner dead in the eye, "if this child is to stay we need to make some more changes," his own eyes flicker a dangerous intensity, "soon."


	5. seis

_v._

"A child?!"

Cobra can't help but sound incredulous, and Jellal doesn't blame him one bit. They had learned their lesson, so before confronting the Oracion Seis, they hid her a fair bit away from their intended contact point. Personally, Jellal would have bet they wouldn't have tried to hurt her in exchange for any sort of bargaining, but Meredy was already paranoid enough as is.

Now that they were all on the same side, however….

"Yes, and she's staying with us," he looks Cobra dead in the eye, "non-negotiable."

The dragonslayer bares his fangs in a disgusted sneer, "I thought you were over child endangerment Jel-" Before he can finish his sentence Meredy is between the two of them, green eyes trained on Cobra.

"Ultear is *my* responsibility first and foremost, so if you have a problem with it," she takes a heavy step forward, "tell *me* about it."

"Ultear? Ultear? You named the kid after her? Or was she born unlucky enough to share the same name as that bit-" Again, before he can finish Meredy's pummeling him with her fists. He snarls and glares at her but surprisingly doesn't lash out himself.

"It's…not quite like that Erik." Jellal's eyes wander over to Ultear, who looks up at the rest of the Oracion Seis members not twenty feet away in awe. They stare back with a mixture of uncomfortableness and curiosity. Cobra's single eye also drifts over, and it's only when he stops to listen that the dots connect.

"You mean to tell me that's really…"

A nod from Jellal is all he gets. "Meredy, stop hitting our newest members. We have to…explain this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Concerns for the mental well-being of this group? Leave 'em below!


	6. erik

_vi._

Erik was irritated.

Now, it could be argued that Erik was _always_ irritated in some form. Ever since Cubellios was lost he went from "arrogant" to "pissy" real fast (at least according to Sorano, who, for the record, has never been right about him his whole life).

But this was different.

People's minds were like Rubik's cubes; even if they were all messed up in the beginning, with enough tinkering about he could see the patterns and "solve" the puzzle of their thoughts and personality.

Ultear was like a Rubik's cube that he had to solve colorblind. Technically possible, but mind-numbingly frustrating if there was no one there to tell him what was what. And, well…

He mentioned to Jellal it was much the same when he had first awoken at Nirvana. With no clear memories it became harder to depict the inner voice of someone. The calmer and more understanding they were about themselves the better Erik could get a read on them. Without them, sure, he could get a read on how someone was feeling, but their intent got lost more easily in all the other noise swimming through their mind. With Ultear Junior, it wasn't that she didn't have any memories, more that–

"She's a toddler who can barely form sentences, all of her thoughts are of you two dimwits."

Well, at first they were. Now, occasionally, they pulled up other such images, like Richard, or Macbeth, or even himself. The little tyke had taken shockingly little time to grow used to her new companions and now seemed to think of them all quite fondly. Well...unless he pulled a face, which almost guaranteed to send her packing (and a glare from her overbearing "mother"). She still hung around those two the most but...it was plain to see she didn't mind the other's company.

He tried probing a little more once, (as a "friendly request" from Jellal) to see if something would bubble up when he was paying closer attention. He rarely interacted with anyone aged lower than himself so it became an interesting challenge to guess what she might be thinking given her limited vocabulary. At the edge of her thoughts, however, he felt a heavy presence that instantly made him blanch. It was only for an instant, but he felt the same dark force he had witnessed (and tried to ignore) so often while they were with Brain. It was enough to get him to stop prying and to start snapping at Jellal whenever he mentioned trying again.

It was hilarious. Him, a grown man capable, willing, and accomplished in murder, reduced to base fears by a _toddler_. A toddler, by all accounts, who also murdered and slain countless numbers of people.

He couldn't bear to try and sift through more of her mind, but he was also aware of what might happen if he didn't. Ultear had once been one of the most powerful mages on the continent. If even a part of that woman was to resurface underneath the façade of youth...

He shuddered to imagine what was in store for all of them.


	7. sorano

_vii._

Sorano couldn't quite put her finger on just what about the child ticked her off so much. Of course, she could have easily listed off half a dozen or more things that _annoyed_ her. Like the way Meredy doted over her in that squeaky, overly motherly sounding voice. Or how Jellal often not so subtly gave her more responsibility over the little pipsqueak than all her male teammates. Or even the fact that despite that, she appeared to someone get along with her the _worst_.

Yeah, that must be it.

It was infuriating enough to be the one most called upon to babysit, but at least the toddler could have _reacted_ to her instead of shyly clinging to Meredy whenever she was around. It didn't even make any sense since she seemed to watch almost everyone else around her to some extent. Seriously. This is why she didn't like kids.

It was probably for the best though.

Sorano couldn't deny that despite the utter absurdity to the situation there wasn't a small part of her that felt nostalgic when looking at the child. Her own younger sister had been only a few years older when they had been ripped apart by circumstances beyond their control. Despite spending relatively little time with her compared to most of the people in her life, she still held some of the fondest memories during the peaceful period.

So it's probably for the best that she still can't stand her.

Sometimes, she doesn't. Those are the most vulnerable times. The times where she's putting up her hair to keep it out of the way, or helping Meredy bathe her, or the rare time Ultear sat close beside her and picked a handful of flowers for her. Because this is when she thinks.

That maybe she would be able to see her sister again.

And that is what ticks Sorano off the most.


	8. richard

_viii._

Richard couldn't help but feel a little stuck.

When the two Crime Sorciere members had shown up and Jellal strongarmed the rest of his former comrades into joining, Richard had set aside his desire to go reunite with his brother in exchange for helping the independent guild enact their goals. It was not a decision he made lightly, but it was one he made with traces of regret. He had always been good at reasoning himself into situations he would rather not be in, and this was no exception.

And that was _before_ he learned about Ultear.

The tiny child clung to Meredy as Jellal explained the predicament to the rest of the new crew. Erik and Sawyer wore faces of suppressed irritation, Sorano's had been full of shock, and Macbeth gave a rare quizzical look.

Richard hoped he hadn't looked too aghast.

From what he gathered from the explanation, not only were the two of them fully aware of the dangers in having her around, but Meredy looked ready to kill anyone who protested. Her expression and stance indicated a sort of maternal bond that bordered on obsessive.

Yet Jellal looked in no part to stop her.

Richard faintly hoped that he had tried to reason with her previously before giving up. For everything that had been done to him under the Tower he wanted to give the man who spared his friend's lives a sliver of trust; especially if they were to be traveling together for the near future. Even for someone who now preached on the feeling of love, he was not so generous as to completely overlook all wrongs.

Maybe that was why he volunteered to help Meredy more often than the others. Nobody really objected (because they didn't want to or because they knew he would be better…he didn't think about it too much), so he was able to get a better grasp on the nature of the tiny Ultear.

For all intents and purposes she acted like a normal toddler, often wandering off when out of eye-sight or otherwise unattended. She was wary of him at first but gradually opened up, often motioning to be held on top of his head after he picked her up once and let her see over a ravine they were traveling alongside. Her small hands grasped at his hair and he felt like a giant in comparison.

Meredy was much harder to pin down. From what he understood (and the slight bits he remembered when they were all part of the Balam Alliance), Meredy was extremely attached to the grown-up Ultear, obviously enough to make her downright demonic to the idea of leaving her someplace else. She begrudgingly accepted his and the other's help, possibly more out of fatigue from parenting than true trust given the bags under her eyes. From the way she snapped at Erik to the tired smiles she gave Jellal it was clear she was on edge constantly around the subject.

So he tried to be as helpful as he possibly could. He knew that being genuine, instead of callous, was the way to get her to open up to him and others more.

Because one day, he was thinking of having a word with her about all of this.


	9. sawyer

_ix._

Out of all of them, Sawyer was perhaps the most confused by the recent development. He understood _who_ she was, it was the how and why that boggled him. Even with all of the crazy magical happenings he'd seen, a fully grown woman turning into a child felt too much to process.

(Brain had always emphasized speed with everything he had taught him; an unfortunate side effect being that more complicated magical theory and such weren't often brought up. Mostly so that he could focus on what would make him _stronger_ , _faster_.)

Still, he didn't have to understand to be annoyed by her very presence. It was irritating. Being _slow_. For a _child_. (Yes, he noticed the hypocriticalness of it all. No, it did not make him any less irritated.)

They were on a strict schedule with her, one that demanded patience he was not willing to give. He didn't sign up for babysitting of all things (had he, really, signed up for anything at all?).

Even more frustrating was watching the others. In the beginning, they all had complained, made known their collective annoyance. Now? They were beginning to tolerate her, accept her, _get along with her_.

Well, not him.

In terms of sheer bullheadedness, it would be easy to say that Macbeth or even Erik had a good head start on him. But in the early days, it was always him who was the one to try, stubbornly, to escape and always, always, always fail.

In the beginning, he had even thought that it was part of the reason Brain had chosen him. The unflinching desire to do whatever it took, to go as far as he needed to gain the power necessary to be free.

What a load of garbage.

Still, if there was one thing his stubborn streak could be used for productively, it could be to wear them down. He could wear the façade of having begrudgingly accepted her but still bear the resentment he held from day one. It was only a matter of time before the cracks would show and he would be the first one to suggest giving her up when it happened.

(Somewhere deep inside, the thought occurred that he may, in fact, be _jealous_ of the former criminal who had been given a miraculous second chance and was now being doted upon by adults. He kept that one under lock and key in case it ever decided to bubble to the surface.)

It was probably for the best, then, that Ultear rarely went to him as she did for the others. Best to keep such things at arm's length, especially those that were doomed to fall apart sooner or later.

So Sawyer watched her as the others watched her. But he also waited. Waited for the burden of her to finally reach the others. (The only question is, who would crack first?)


	10. macbeth

_x._

It surprised no one more than Macbeth himself when he first noticed the toddler oddly following him whenever he went off by himself to nap.

It certainly SCARED him the first time he dozed off only to be awoken by the Ultear head butting him as she laid down next to him (he would never admit it to the others of course). Things were already tense as they were with the main group, no need to stir up even more trouble (at least, trouble that he couldn't accurately use to his advantage).

Macbeth had tried to avoid thinking about it too hard. In his head, he and the others had lost, so if taking care of this child was indeed "penance" then who was he to fight back? (Or, what's the point of fighting if you're only going to lose in the end?)

Still, he had expected Ultear to be wary of them, not attempt to snuggle up with him when he seemed to least expect it. It was almost uncanny how a three-year-old could possess such stealth, yet at other times threaten to blow out Erik's eardrums with her tantrums.

Meredy had been _furious_ when she found out–as she made no means to hide that she easily trusted him the _least_ out of all of them. Macbeth took no measures to gain her trust, merely remarking that if the maguility mage didn't want her next to him she should be keeping a closer eye on her in the first place.

And he thought he had perfected the "if looks could kill" face.

None of this stopped Ultear from occasionally following him beyond the camp borders to where he liked to nap. After a month he got better (only a little) at telling if she was approaching. The thought crossed his mind to dissuade her with a brief illusion, but even he knew the consequences of what might happen should that turn into nightmares.

(Children were sensitive and this one? Perhaps even more so than anyone else suspected.)

So he pretended to be asleep, pretended not to notice her curling up beside him, and pretended to pretend that it wasn't kind of nice to have the small head on his lap.

Somehow, Meredy always found them like this, and no matter how many times she scolded the tiny Ultear and no matter how many times she nodded as if she understood perfectly, she kept coming back.

Almost like…she enjoyed napping with him?

The ridiculousness of it all might have been the only thing keeping Macbeth from denying the girl one of the small comforts he always wanted–peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And that's a wrap on this arc! Now that we've gotten everyone's initial reactions out of the way things will finally begin progressing as a group! I have most of the "arcs" planned out but if anyone has any suggested scenarios to write leave a review and tell me them! (and just leave a review in general you guys I crave feedback)
> 
> Be on the lookout for the next set, the CoLu stories, and other stuff soon!


	11. new status quo

_xi._

Almost a month had passed since the old Oracion Seis members joined Crime Sorciere and the reality of taking care of a toddler as well as being part of an independent guild now seemed fully intertwined within everyone's mind.

Call it what you will, but twenty-one days make a habit, and they have been putting up with Ultear for almost thirty now.

Their routine finely tuned to the child, the other members said shockingly little about her if they weren't the ones taking care of her at the moment. Although there were still glances, glares, and scoffs, it was nowhere near the hostility levels following their initial joining.

Perhaps that's why, for the first time since she found Ultear, Meredy appeared visibly relaxed.

This was enough to cause a small stir amongst the new members, especially those who had berated Meredy the hardest and felt the full brunt of her motherly affection.

It was small, at first, Meredy no longer threw sideways glances at Sorano or Richard whenever they offered (or were forced to) help. Slowly, this grew to actively asking for help and quickly blossomed into leaving them strictly in charge during certain times while she relaxed or consulted with Jellal.

Besides the occasional death glare towards Macbeth (who Meredy could barely stand Ultear being next to), she did nothing to actively stop the other members from interacting or helping her.

So thus became the new routine, a quiet, steady pace that was perfect for breeding contentment.

A contentment Jellal just couldn't justify as healthy, no matter how hard he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Time to expand a bit on some ideas stated in the previous batch! Have an idea for a scenario? Drop it down below and let me know what you think of the rest of the story!


	12. siblings

_xii._

Sorano didn't mean to butt in to things Richard didn't want to talk about, but she was never very good at not voicing every thought in her head, so one morning when the two of them were alone with Ultear she asked.

"Do you like taking care of her?"

Richard didn't answer for a minute, not even looking her way as he stared at Ultear, who was sitting on his lap picking petals off a flower.

"I don't dislike it…or rather, I don't dislike this child, oh yeah."

Sorano blinked in surprise, "Really? You seemed pretty gung-ho about helping in the beginning."

"That was just my way of trying to be useful. Nothing good would come from any more unnecessary fighting, yeah."

He looked at Ultear again, who was now dangerously close to falling asleep in his lap. "Besides…I feel I understand my older brother a bit more now. I was around this age when he had to start taking care of me by himself."

Sorano stiffened as he spoke. She too, was around that age when…

Sorano shook her head at the thought. It was a small mercy she was with Richard and not Sawyer, or worse yet Erik. They would poke and prod at the issue, they all knew. They all knew, and she hated that.

"For what it's worth…" she whispered as the wind picked up, "I hope you find him one day."

Richard smiled. "Thank you."

The fact he didn't say "you too" was yet another small mercy from him.

One that Sorano pretended she didn't need to have.


	13. favorites

_xiii._

"I'm telling you, she keeps following me out to where I sleep. Like she likes napping next to me."

"If you didn't look so distressed I'd say you're full of it."

The two speaking–a reflector mage with a perturbed look on his face and a poison dragon struggling not to roll his eyes–sat together during one of the scheduled break times. Somehow, without even trying very hard, the topic went in the direction of the young Ultear. Specifically, after Macbeth mentioned having to keep one eye out for her as he slept.

"I really do wish she wouldn't do that…"

"So? Make her. Conjure up, I don't know, a Vulcan or something and drive her off."

The silence and lowering of his friend's head made Erik sigh in exasperation. "Fine, so you don't want to incur the wrath of the pink witch, just hide better. Climb some trees if you have too."

"…I tried hiding myself with my magic, but she ended up finding me anyway." He said in a whisper, causing Erik's eyes to go wide in shock.

"Damn that's creepy…you know, if you're not careful, she's going to think that Ultear favors you."

Macbeth's own eyes went wide in horror, the idea of the child favoring him clearly the last revelation he wanted to have. Just as he was about to speak again, a high pitched squeal broke out behind him as tiny arms collided with his back. A voice called out, "Ma-beth! Help!"

It was the object of his conflicting emotions, the tiny Ultear, quivering behind his back.

"Ultear! You're eating all that we gave you, or there won't be any-" Meredy paused from speaking as she ran up to Ultear to take in the scene before her. Namely, the toddler clinging to the back of the person she most warned her not to go near. Macbeth, for his part, didn't look all that pleased either as he tried to explain.

"Meredy, just take her-" In turning around to speak, he executed the fatal mistake of exposing his front, where Ultear immediately abandoned his back and put her arms around his chest, burying herself there with a death grip. Meredy's eyes flared up in a rage, and the two began arguing.

Erik did nothing to help or hurt the situation, rather, his eyes were drawn to the child clinging to his friend. He hadn't doubted Macbeth's tales of their shared nap times, but it seemed that he hadn't registered the depth of her affection towards Macbeth. He frowned, wondering what she saw in him that was different from even Meredy, as the two in question continued to speak over each other. Almost unintentionally ignoring the child they argued so desperately about.


	14. nightmares

_xiv._

It was the middle of the night when he heard it. Amidst the cacophony of other night sounds and the rhythms of his teammates, this sound stood out like thunder.

He was on watch, trying to see if he still remembered all the constellations in the area when a wail echoed out into the night. Startled, he whipped around to confront the noise only to hear gentle cooing coming from the same direction. His sensitive ears hadn't picked out a wild animal or an unlucky third-party, but merely Ultear having a nightmare.

He sagged his shoulders in irritation and marched up to the tent, ready to rip open the front and let Meredy know that it didn't matter if a dark guild was fifty _miles_ away; they surely heard the pathetic cries of the child.

He never got that far.

As his hand brushed the tent walls and he heard Meredy gently console the toddler, his mind instinctively went to Ultear, the past few weeks of him watching and observing her causing him to naturally pull deeper into her mind.

A harsh, heavy feeling suddenly weighed down upon him. A feeling of sharp pain, like needles. Being tied down, being _helpless_ , a feeling of burning magic lit and all your nerves on fire. A maddening, insidious chuckle that Erik could still perfectly recall all those years later now echoed in Ultear's skull.

It was Brain.

Well, not _exactly_ Brain. But the darkness that clouded his mind was the same heavy, oppressive presence he felt when under that man for so long. The same presence he taught, no, beat into himself to ignore, to brush off. If he wanted to live he needed to tolerate it. If he wanted to live he needed to _accept_ it.

That same heavy presence that now bore down on the toddler's fragile psyche.

He stood deathly still by the tent. Breathing heavy, eyes swimming under the pressure, hand quivering ever so slightly. He didn't even realize how off-balance he was until he took a step back and nearly tripped.

Erik shakily sat back down on the log he used for watch and tried to calm his breathing. In the tent, Meredy's gentle voice eventually put Ultear back to sleep, her mind letting go of the darkness in favor of the warmth of Meredy's arms. But Erik had no such company out on his watch. Only the stars and the pale moonlight to watch him unravel.

He wondered if they knew. He wondered if they really knew.


	15. reflections

_xv._

The seasons were slowly starting to change as Ultear washed her face by the river. The water was cold, colder than it was even a week before. Ultear knew Mom would scold her for staying by the rushing water for so long, but she enjoyed the cool feeling on her skin. For some reason, it was comforting to her.

It was a little while since the new people started traveling with her and Mom and the man with the red mark on his face. Ultear had been scared of them and hid behind Mom as the marked man introduced them one by one. Most of them glared at Ultear, making her feel uneasy.

Mom didn't seem too happy about it either, from how she glared right back at them, shielding Ultear. Mom was the only person who looked kindly at Ultear, and the only one who sat beside her whenever she cried.

The new people looked scary, but the red-marked man said they wouldn't hurt her. Ultear didn't really trust him, but if Mom was ok with it she wouldn't put up a fuss.

Eventually, she came to understand the new people. She realized they felt a lot like her Mom and the marked man. They might look scary, sure, but more often than not they would help her if she needed it. One of them (the biggest person she'd ever seen) even gave her piggyback rides and played with her. His smile made her feel warm and…strangely loved. The prickly curly topped girl still didn't seem to like her very much, but she did brush her hair more gently than Ultear remembered even Mom doing so.

The sleepy man with two shades of hair who napped outside of the camp Ultear felt especially fond of. He wore warm furs underneath the hoods the rest of the members wore, and she found him especially warm to sleep next to. She had trouble finding him a few times since he usually napped outside of the camp, but she always found him in the end. No matter how disappointed Mom looked when she found her, she kept coming back, probably because she knew Mom wouldn't be able to stop her until it was too late.

The man with the long limbs and pointy nose still glared at her even to this day, and she avoided eye contact as much as possible. The one who really scared her though…was the man with one eye. He was always looking at her, and even though he only had one eye, the intensity was still enough to make her want to hide behind Mom every time. Lately, though she hadn't felt him stare at her so much. Actually, it seemed that he was trying to _avoid_ her, which Ultear didn't mind one bit. Not if she could spend more time with Mom.

Mom…

Why was it so strange to call her that?

Ultear blinked and shook her head at the strange thought. It wasn't strange at all. Mom was Mom. She felt like a Mom, and she did all the things a Mom was supposed to do. How could she not be her Mother?

Then…did that make the man with the strange mark her father?

Her face puffed up at the thought. No way. He wasn't her dad. In fact, if anyone was her dad…

Suddenly, her Mom called out, "Ul! Finish up and come here please!"

Ultear obeyed, shouting, "Comin!" as she rushed back towards Mom.

Back towards the arms waiting to embrace her. Her Mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Forgot to say so yesterday but this fic's a year old! Well it doesn't look that way here but on the original FF.net version apparently that day was yesterday lol.
> 
> Some new things were introduced and I ended up moving what was supposed to be this chapter onto the next batch, so watch out for that. Now, since CoLu week is up next week, I'll be putting this on hold to finish up those and then work on a couple other pieces. So look out for this returning on July 6th! I'm crossing my fingers we'll be able to do Mon-Fri every week until the end. Thanks for sticking around/checking this out.
> 
> Review down below if you have any thoughts, or want a specific scenario for one of the batchs! Catch y'all back here then!


	16. pair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, only half a year late. That might be a new record. Expect updates (for real this time) for the next two weeks.

_xvi._

Jellal had almost forgotten just how nice it once was to spend time with Meredy, alone. Back when Ultear was, well, _Ultear_ , the two of them would spend time alone as a sort of "bonding exercise" in order to gain the trust needed to work as a team. Although younger Meredy was a precocious little brat, once Jellal began to understand her usual tendencies and quirks she was an excellent partner to have around.

Which is perhaps part of the reason he mourned the loss of Meredy more than the loss of the adult Ultear. Meredy–while no stranger to the occasional emotional outburst–usually held a fairly grounded and reasonable attitude. With Ultear as she was, she'd transformed into a hyper-sensitive being who focused almost exclusively on Ultear and her wants and needs. Jellal could no longer confide in her, every statement an attack on her decisions in Meredy's eyes.

So when the Oracion Seis appeared and began to build Meredy's trust again, a small spark of hope ignited in Jellal's chest. Whenever he saw Meredy's shoulders relax as Richard played with Ultear, or smile as Sorano helped her clean her up at the end of the day, Jellal could feel the old bits of Meredy return. The paranoid mother figure gave way to the normal, slightly childish, slightly ridiculous girl.

It made him feel like maybe he could get his friend back.

The catalyst for all of this arrived when Sorano made the two of them go on patrol together. Originally it would have been Meredy and her, but Ultear became weirdly clingy about the way Sorano did her hair. Seeing a way to avoid going on patrol, Sorano gave a small excuse to how she "totally couldn't leave" before finishing with Ultear and pushed the two away. The independent guild leader realized that he hadn't been alone with Meredy properly since before the Oracion Seis joined…or perhaps it was truly before even the events of the Grand Magic Games.

He shook his head. It was getting colder out now, so even with their relatively sturdy capes, the feeling of the approaching winter weighed heavy in the air. He hoped Meredy wasn't too cold. Maybe it was the Jellal of seven years ago thinking, but he still saw her in part as the small child who shivered endless during the winter and cuddled up against Ultear any chance she got.

"Coming? It's still a bit of a ways around." Meredy spoke. She turned to look at him, a hand beckoning forward. Despite the breath that hung in the air when she spoke her red eyes appeared bright and focused. The same eyes that could look at him with such fear or such joy. He mentally refocused from his memories to the person in front of him and nodded.

For now, he wanted to appreciate this rare opportunity stretched out before him.


	17. branches

_xvii._

Meredy tried hard not to shiver in the cold. When Sorano pushed her to go on the patrol with Jellal she initially felt nervous. The past few months her relationship with him had grown strain to the point of snapping. It was hard taking care of a normal toddler– nevermind one that used to be an adult–and in the conditions they were used too? It was no wonder things felt strained.

When the Orcaion Seis arrived her anxiety increased as suddenly only one critical set of eyes became six, making Meredy want to curl up close to protect Ultear all the more. Eventually, enough time passed that she no longer felt that way. Sorano and Richard proved to be very helpful in wrangling the toddler, and while the others still looked on warily, she was no longer fearful of them hurting her. Now, that didn't mean she _liked_ Ultear being around all of them (a particular sleepy wizard irritating came to mind) but at least they tolerated it now.

Despite this, she still got nervous at the idea of spending time alone with Jellal. It was silly, really. He hadn't openly confronted her on the matter of Ultear since the Oracion Seis joined, but it was still at the back of her mind whenever he went over a plan with her, or asked her where they should camp, or even just simple greetings after a patrol. Her paranoia ran deep, deeper than she'd like to admit.

Still, a part of her reminisced about how nice it was to simply walk together through the trees. It hadn't snowed yet, but it probably would soon. Especially as they made their way further and further up north. Meredy wondered if Ultear would be able to handle the journey and almost didn't notice Jellal calling her.

"Meredy? Meredy!"

She stumbled, her face smacking square into a branch Jellal pulled back in an attempt to help her only to be let go of too soon. She groaned as the pointy branches stung her face. Jellal winced but gave a chuckle at her pain. She gave him an annoyed glare, which she sourly noted he seemed pleased by, before huffing indignantly and moving forward, ahead of him. He said nothing else, merely following behind her.

She mentally chastised herself. Her worrying about Ultear once again made her too distracted to even think of her surroundings. If it had been only the two of them, like before, would Jellal look so relaxed at her annoyed expression? She thought about all the times she saw him at ease around her and regretfully couldn't think of one before two months ago. Not that the man was ever _really_ relaxed, but she could tell the difference between an on edge Jellal and a normal Jellal without even stopping to ponder anymore.

She almost sighed. It used to be nice to be alone with Jellal. In her mind, he was the big brother to Ultear's motherly disposition. Whenever Ultear was mad at her, she would run to Jellal to escape her wrath. She smiled softly at the memories, a much smaller and ganglier Meredy hiding behind Jellal, the man unable to do anything but be used as a meat shield against the raging Ultear. She remembered that even when he looked uncomfortable, he never turned her away, almost like he couldn't help but feel the need to protect her, even if it was from something she probably had coming.

Did he still feel that way? Like she was a child, needing to be protected? Did he even think of her as an adult?

Before she could unravel her new train of thought, a hand grabbed her arm and yanked her back behind a cover of bushes. She gave a small "eep" and plopped down. Jellal put a finger to his lips and glanced in the direction ahead. Meredy followed his gaze.

People were approaching.


	18. caught

_xviii._

Three men stood talking in the direction Jellal and Meredy had been heading. One of them was bigger, gruffer than the other two, and given how he was the one yelling, Jellal supposed him to be the boss.

The big man stayed put while his underlings split up; both heading northward in branching directions. Jellal couldn't quite hear what they were saying at their distance.

"We haven't seen anyone else while doing patrols here. Should we go back and inform the others?" Meredy whispered. Jellal shook his head.

"I want to see what they're doing; they might be harmless." Regardless, they would probably have to move camp, but they should at least determine why they're here. It was true that they hadn't seen any people, native or otherwise, in these particular woods.

Meredy nervously glanced at the big man, who was now poking around a bit in the dirt with a stick. He was dressed in a fair number of layers, which made sense since it was nearly winter. He wasn't saddled with equipment though, did that mean he didn't plan to stay around all that long?

Beside him, Meredy gasped and pulled on his arm. "Jellal, I think there's a tattoo on his neck." Jellal squinted his eyes and could barely make out a purplish blob on the man's neck. He was surprised Meredy could even distinguish it as a tattoo, and not an oddly shaped birthmark or scar. "He's got to be from a dark guild. There's no one out this far that would do normal guild work."

"Meredy we don't know that, just wait a moment." He put a hand on her shoulder to keep her from leaping forward. He'd rather they not be seen, even if it was by a normal woodsman, perhaps _especially_ if he were normal.

She sat back down, clearly unhappy. After a moment more of observing she whispered again. "Can we at least check and see if it's a guild tattoo?" The quaver he faintly detected in her voice made him pause. She was more on edge about this than he thought.

He thought for a second before giving a slow nod. The two of them crept closer together, sticking to the bushes and clumps of thick trees. The big man didn't seem to notice, too focused on whatever he was trying to decide amongst the trees. Jellal tried to size him up better as they grew closer. His physique was large but not overwhelming. Even if he weren't a mage, Jellal knew he could handle a fight. Not that he wanted it to come to that.

As they grew closer, Jellal started to make out more of the purple blotch on the side of the man's neck. He realized Meredy might not be just imagining things. He could make out several lines in a deep purple hue.

He paused to squint a bit at the image. Meredy continued forward without him and started whispering, only to realize he was still a few feet behind her. In the slight panic of trying to get near him again, her foot slipped and she repositioned herself on top of especially dry branches, sending them all cracking with a loud 'snap' as she yelped in surprise.

Hearing the noise, the man yelled as well, now close enough to make out his words. "Alright, who's there and what'll it take to come out!" He gave a low cough, his scratchy voice matching his gruff appearance. "Hey, you two! Get back here!" The others evidently hadn't gone too far, as the smaller men with him came scuttling back before he'd finished his sentence. Jellal froze, his options of fight or flight rapidly alternating in his mind. Thinking quickly, he stood up as Meredy got to her feet.

"I'm sorry," he started, "we were just passing by. We didn't want to disturb anyone working out here."

The big man's eyes bugged out as he got a clear look at Jellal. The lines on his tattoo were now clear enough to make out completely. It was bright purple, with a v-shaped being intersected by a line with two downwards points, like a fence or a set of fangs. A vein from his neck bulged through the point, making the shape pop out even more. It wasn't instantly recognizable as any of the light guild marks he knew though. Nor any of the dark.

"Y-You're that criminal turned criminal hunter! You tracked a group as small as mine down?!"

Jellal tensed. So he was a dark guild member, or at least someone bad enough to fear him. "What are you doing out here? If you tell us we might be able to come to a peaceful solution."

His companions eyed him nervously but the man only laughed, although it sounded more like choking. "You think we'll believe that? You took down a third of the Balam Alliance and made them your dogs! We'd rather die and keep our dignity than explain ourselves to you."

Jellal sighed. He would never understand the strange pride of dark guilds. Even after remembering his time as one of them, it made him sick to think of the cruel honor he got from holding himself above others. He hadn't exactly been all the way sane at that point, but he didn't know if that made it better or worse.

"Just tell us what you're planning! Were you going to go any further into the woods?" Meredy's eyes blazed cold fire.

"Meredy, let me do the talking."

"Jellal! We can't let them get any closer to the camp!"

Jellal stopped, his eyes going towards Meredy. The fire was still there, but he could now see the pinpricks of tears. "If...if they hurt her. If they hurt anyone..."

He stiffened at her expression. He understood. She didn't want Ultear getting caught up in whatever they were planning. It wasn't an unreasonable desire, especially after all the close calls they'd had, but he couldn't help but feel frustrated at the way things played out.

Another cough. "Still, we're not quite suicidal yet." With a sudden loud croak, the neck of the large man bulged to a ridiculous extent, before snapping back with a hissing spew. Acid projectile launched from his mouth, covering the area between Jellal, Meredy, and the three men. Burning grass immediately filled his nostrils in full force. In the process, some splashed at Jellal's leg, almost making him drop to one knee. It was surprisingly powerful even in a small amount. The acid man then called, "Blinky! Winky! We're leaving! We got more pride but no backup!"

"I really hate that nickname." One of them spoke, although Jellal obviously had no idea which was which. The next moment, the man glowed so brightly it was like a flash bomb went off. Jellal was able to shield his eyes in time but he heard Meredy cry out in pain as the light continued shining. Then, the light vanished.

Jellal hesitantly opened his eyes, still clutched his leg in pain. It throbbed from the attack, but he'd live. The three men were nowhere to be seen. Meredy clutched her head but shakily attempted to stand up. She swayed and started to hobble towards the spot the three had just vanished from. "Don't," Jellal coughed. "Let them go Meredy. We need to report this back to camp. We should move now before they decide to come back."

Meredy turned around at his voice, her eyes still somewhat unfocused from the bright light. Jellal couldn't tell if the vacant look was caused by her own emotions or the pain of the light. When he tried to walk forward and grunted in pain the dazed expression snapped forward and she gasped and ran towards him. Without a word, she felt for his arms before putting one over her shoulder and letting him lean on her. She was small, and not totally recovered herself, but she didn't complain as she kept him upright.

"I'm sorry." Another whisper, this time much closer to his ear. "I shouldn't have suggested getting closer. That was really stupid of me. We got hurt for nothing and didn't even learn anything." Her body drooped under the weight of her mistakes as much as under the weight of supporting him.

For a moment, Jellal didn't say anything. Then he stood up straighter, putting Meredy's other arm over his own shoulder. He felt her surprise.

"It wasn't great, I know. But it wasn't for nothing. We did learn that there's another criminal organization on the rise, one with a mark we've never seen before. We'll have to take extra caution as we move northwards now."

Meredy looked as if she had something to say. Instead, she shut her mouth and tried standing up even straighter than Jellal. Since she was nowhere near as tall it looked rather silly. Like a child trying to imitate an adult. Jellal almost laughed before thinking better of it.

The two of them walked back to camp, one arm wrapped carefully around the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes that is an actual guild, anyone who guesses correctly wins a prize (respect).


	19. the others

_xix._

"Hmm, it's rather quiet today for some reason, oh yeah."

"That's because Scowly and Grumpy left on patrol together."

"And just who is supposed to be which description in this scenario?"

Erik shrugged and put on a sly grin for Richard. "Interchangeable," he answered.

Sorano huffed. "You could at least thank me for pushing them to go off together."

"We know you only did it for you Sorano, no need to act so selfless." The woman's face pouted at the acute observation but didn't pipe up to refute it. Instead, she played with Ultear's hair, attempting to put it into pigtails. The dark locks were just long enough to put up into a multitude of different styles, something Sorano begrudgingly admitted could be quite cute.

"Well, good for them at least. Maybe it'll stop feeling like somebody died when the two of them interact." Erik looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Considering the circumstances, someone basically did die. Since when were you a meddler in other people's personal problems, though?" Sorano stiffened.

"Maybe you've forgotten, but I used to be a Celestial Spirit mage. It was my job to meddle in personal relationships." The unspoken words–to my benefit–rang out in Erik's ears. He certainly hadn't forgotten how Sorano treated her spirits. He just knew she was less interested in dealing with human connections. At least, if it meant actually helping them out.

Richard piped up. "I do think it would be nice to see them getting along again, oh yeah. Perhaps this is a step in the right direction." He seemed hopeful that something good would come out of this. Erik wasn't so sure. Even without listening in, it was clear from the way they circled around each other, in real life and in conversations, that something about their relationship no longer clicked. And that wasn't something easily pieced together again.

Before he could quip back about them, a rustling emerged from the woods behind them. All three tensed at the sudden noise, Sorano putting a confused Ultear behind her in a protective stance. Then Erik held up a hand to signal that it wasn't an enemy as Jellal and Meredy hobbled into the clearing.

Meredy appeared not much worse for wear, at least from the outside, despite being a bit dirtied. Erik instantly noticed Jellal favoring one leg over the other. The melted parts of clothing and the slight smell of burnt flesh told him before Jellal himself.

"Had an unfortunate encounter but we'll live," Jellal spoke, even as Richard and Sorano went up to help them stand independently. "I should look at this wound before it gets any worse. Then we're going to pack up and head southward. There are some people who might consider tracking us. I'll explain once everyone's together."

"Let me help with the wound, Jellal." Meredy said, looking at him with wide eyes.

"No, you're also hurting Meredy. Stay here with Sorano and Richard and rest until I get back. Erik?" he motioned to the one-eyed man to follow him. Erik's gaze rested on Meredy for just a moment longer before grumbling his way over to Jellal as he headed, slowly, further into camp.

Meredy sat down on a tree stump, putting her head in her hands and squeezing her eyes shut. Sorano desperately wanted to ask what had happened, but it seemed she'd have to be content with making sure Meredy stayed awake at least.

Ultear wandered over towards her maternal figure and put her hand on her head. Meredy opened her eyes at the touch and looked down at her. Even when sitting down and slumped over, Ultear was forced to stand on her tippy toes to reach the top of her head. The toddler smiled when she met Meredy's gaze and continued patting her head in an obvious gesture of comfort. Richard looked on at the scene and smiled, while Sorano swallowed down a snide remark at the event. The surrogate mother didn't respond immediately, instead unexpectedly turning her eyes towards Sorano.

"Thank you for looking after her while I was gone. Both of you." Meredy looked back at Ultear, "I'm...going to sit over here for a moment." She stood up and patted Ultear's head delicately. The three year old beamed with joy and joined her a few feet away from the rest, beginning to speak excitedly now that her mother felt better.

Sorano stood almost slack-jawed despite herself. "Is that the first time that little urchin has thanked me for my service?"

Richard chuckled. "What can I say? A step in the right direction."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sort of headcanon that Sorano grew up much less interested in human relations after gaining an angel fascination. Although Gemini might have unintentionally sparked the desire to know as much about other people as possible to her advantage. That strange push and pull would be fun to play out in another fic but alas we'll see.


	20. erza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Aurora, who left a very nice comment about wanting to see an Erza interaction as I was in the middle of writing this. Thanks again for your kind words!

_xx._

Ultear found herself very familiar with silence. She could even recognize different kinds. There was nap silence, where she laid down with her Mom (or Macbeth if she were lucky) and drifted off to sleep. There was the yelling silence, where the adults would be loud only to clam up afterward, leaving a prickly feeling on Ultear's skin. There was even a sad silence, like whenever she caught Mom crying and then tried to cheer her up, the only sound being of her Mother's sniffles as she held Ultear close.

The silence before her, however, was new. It felt stranger than all the other silences. There was a feeling of prickly anticipation Ultear had never experienced before. Or, at least, something she'd never seen her Mother or Jellal with.

She sat with the two of them near the entrance to their camp, resting in Mom's lap. Everyone but the three of them was already gone when she woke up. Jellal sat fidgeting, which Ultear found strange. Mom tried to calm him down. "It'll be fine. Anyways, you're the one who asked if she wanted to help us."

Jellal groaned. "I know, I know. I'm an idiot."

"Well yeah, but not because of that."

Jellal groaned again, and Ultear squirmed in her Mother's lap. Mom woke her up even earlier than usual to thoroughly brush her hair and put on the nicest outfit Ultear owned. She didn't understand what was going on, but it seemed her Mother wanted her to look as nice as possible for it.

The minutes stretched on and Ultear regarded the silence again. It was almost a little lonely not seeing any of the new members around. She thought it was weird they all went away at once. Usually, it was just one or two to patrol at a time. Maybe they all left? Ultear tried to turn around to see if any had come back, but Mom held her in place, telling her to wait just a bit longer.

She wished she knew why she was waiting.

She got her answer a few moments later when a woman she'd never seen before stepped out of the woods and into the camp. Jellal and Mom immediately stood up, the former adopting a serious expression. Ultear stood by Mom's side, in awe of the person before her.

Bright red hair, even darker than Macbeth's pretty red eyes, flowed well past her shoulders. Armor covered her upper half, even extending down to her hands with metal gauntlets. A bright, billowing blue skirt emphasized her long legs, ending in pure black boots. Despite her imposing outfit, the thing that drew Ultear in the most were her eyes. They bore a serious, commanding gaze that made Ultear involuntarily cringe before them. There was something…sharp about her, not in a way that Sawyer or Erik were sharp in snappy, teasing ways, but in a direct, unavoidable way. Like her whole body existed to cut down those she wished to cut.

Ultear briefly wondered what kind of people existed to be cut down by her.

"Hello, Erza. Thank you for meeting with us on such short notice."

"It's not a problem Jellal. Now that the guild's disbanded, I have more time than I know what to do with." Her voice wasn't as rough as Ultear imagined from her appearance. Still, she spoke crisply, directly, and addressed Jellal almost casually. Ultear briefly forgot her fear of the woman in place of a growing curiosity. Just who was she, that Jellal made such strange faces for?

Her curiosity caught up with her when the strange woman, Erza apparently, paused from her conversation with Jellal to peer down. She must not have noticed Ultear, who suddenly felt so much smaller than everyone else. She instinctively hid behind her Mother, who put an arm on her head as if to shield her.

"Is…that a child?"

"Ah, yes. Sorry, I did mention in the note there would be a few things we needed to explain."

He began to talk more, her name coming up more than once. But Ultear didn't even try to listen as Jellal droned on. It was surprisingly easy for her to tune him out. Instead, she watched Erza's reactions from the safety of her Mother's back. The red-haired woman's eyes changed multiple times from questioning to surprise to skeptical, then a strangely sorrowful look appeared.

"I see…she does look quite a bit like her. Are you certain of this, though?"

"I'm certain," her Mother finally spoke up. Erza's eyes landed on her.

"Are you certain about having her around then?" Ultear's eyes widened as she realized Erza was also talking about her. Did Mom not actually want her around? A stab of panic pierced her heart, and she clutched onto her Mother's leg all the tighter.

For a minute, no one responded, increasing Ultear's anxiety. Then her Mother spoke, "I'm prepared to shoulder all the responsibility if need be. I won't abandon her so easily."

Erza's gaze didn't waver as she looked at Mom, but Ultear thought for a moment that she looked even sadder than before. Then she closed her eyes and sighed before shaking her head. "Very well. These circumstances are unique enough that it feels odd to give any sort of advice. Just, please be careful with everything going on, ok?"

Her Mother smiled and the tension in the air finally broke. "We have been, don't you worry Erza. It's actually been much easier since the other members joined."

"They haven't traumatized her yet?"

"Actually, for some it might be the other way around..."

The atmosphere light again, the three continued talking boring grown-up talk as Ultear continued staring at Erza.

At the end of the conversation, Erza looked at Ultear and squatted down so they were almost at eye level. Ultear froze in fear, what could she possibly have to say to her? Then the armored woman did something unexpected, she smiled at her. There was a warmth, previously unseen, shining in her eyes. "It seems you don't remember me, but I promise you I'm a friend. You can call me Erza."

Ultear said nothing. She didn't know what to say to her. She couldn't think of any words that could properly describe how she was feeling. She could barely understand how she felt about her. Then she remembered a method her Mother used when she was annoyed at one of the other members, one that didn't require any words at all.

So she stuck her tongue out at her.

At this, Erza's eyes widened in surprise and a strangely mirthful chuckle escaped her lips. Jellal looked mortified at the exchange, but Erza just kept giggling as they made their way further into the camp. Ultear felt strangely proud of herself, looking back at the laughing woman and the sulky Jellal from the comfort of her Mother's arms. She still didn't know if this Erza was someone she liked, but it didn't seem like she hated her, and maybe that was enough for now.


	21. luck of the draw

_xxi._

"So it's decided then."

The atmosphere was tense to say the least; the group had recently been discussing moving across a large area in order to track some suspicious dark guild movements in the far reaches of the country. The main problem wouldn't be getting there, but getting there with a child. Despite Ultear's relative fortitude so far, even Jellal doubted she would fare well in their trek across the country, especially as it approached winter.

So it was decided–rather reluctantly–that one of them would take Ultear via transportation and then wait them out nearby. The qualifier for this being…

"It can't be you, Meredy."

Meredy pouted as Jellal reiterated his last line. "I know…I'm one of the most well-known rogues in the country and hardly anyone even knows these guys are out yet." She shrugged in irritation. "But why can't I just decide who's going with her instead?"

"Because…well, this might end up being a touch more agreeable." Jellal held in his hand a bunch of sticks gathered together from the nearby woods. "I'm pretty sure we both know who you would choose, but I also know she's a little less keen on the idea."

"You could at least pretend you aren't talking about me," Sorano sneered. "Not that any of that's not true though. As much as I'd love a luxurious train ride instead of walking across the whole damn country it'd certainly be hampered by having to take care of the little snot in the meantime."

Jellal nodded and Meredy glared at Sorano who merely gave a cold smile. From the expressions on everyone else's faces, it was clear they felt the same.

"Fine, fine, let's just get this over with," Meredy huffed as Jellal held out the sticks in his hand. "Honestly as long as it's not–"

"Ah."

A gloved hand–the first one to reach for a stick–held out one of them, one much shorter than the others. Macbeth's face paled even more than it already was as all eyes turned to stare and all mouths opened in disbelief. Cobra sighed.

"Guess we have a winner."

Macbeth's pounding heart masked out the sound of Meredy grinding her teeth in rage.


	22. boarding

_xxii._

If he was being honest, Macbeth certainly didn't mind the idea of breaking away from the rest of the group for a while and using regular transportation again. True, there was always the risk of being caught, but that had been a fact even back when he was an Oracion Seis member, and given his magic it was relatively easy to transform or hide himself when needing passage somewhere.

Although this time was a bit...different, obviously.

He stood on the train platform, having been sent off by Jellal (and threatened by Meredy) with Ultear in tow. He had a bit of money they scraped together for two tickets. Ultear stood beside him, taking in the sights of the bustling train station.

Macbeth took precautions and used his reflector magic to disguise his red eyes to a darker color and obscure the white part of his two-toned hair. He considered changing Ultear's appearance as well but ultimately decided against it, seeing as how no one in their right mind would mistake her for the girl on her wanted poster. He was grateful for the cold, as it gave him an excuse to bundle up and cover any noticeable marks, as well as wearing some sunglasses and a hat for extra measure. If things went smoothly, maybe he'd even be able to drop some of his illusions once they boarded.

Ultear squirmed in place, clearly wanting to move around the station but probably vaguely remembering Meredy's instructions to, quote, "not let the two-toned b-word out of her sight". Macbeth sighed for not the first, or the last, time that day. He went over Jellal's cover story for them one more time.

"Alright, so, if someone asks, you two are-"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Macbeth really hoped it wouldn't come to that. For his sake, mostly. He wasn't even sure if Ultear would be able to help at all with that. It certainly made Meredy grumpy when Jellal spelled it out, even if it was fairly reasonable from an outsider's perspective. Still…

A stray wind picked up out of nowhere, sending a cap flying straight into the mesmerized face of Ultear. With a squeak, she stumbled backward and landed flat on her butt, the hat covering the whole of her head. Macbeth froze at the child now sitting on the cold train platform and, for just a moment, felt his heart stop at the object hitting her.

"Ack! I'm so sorry!" A portly gentleman with an impressively curly handlebar mustache ran up to the two of them, already out of breath by the time he arrived. Macbeth stiffened and adjusted his glasses, hoping the man's eyesight wasn't too keen. He wheezed, then looked down at Ultear struggling to stand up and gently picked the cap off her. "Are you alright, lass?"

"She's fine, she should have been paying more attention to her surroundings." Macbeth quickly picked up the toddler and set her feet down on the ground. He didn't want Ultear talking if he could help it; who knew what kind of suspicious things she might say unknowingly? He checked her over quickly, just to make sure she wasn't actually hurt.

"Well, I'm sorry all the same. Really, it should have been me who was more careful with my cap." He tipped his head in a small bow. "My name's Mikan, pleased to meet you two."

"…Likewise." Macbeth sincerely hoped he would move on now that he knew Ultear was alright and that he didn't mind.

"Are you two traveling up north? It's a bit late in the year to be traveling even further up. Not that I'm one to say anything since that's my destination as well!" He gave a hearty laugh, at which Macbeth attempted a strained smile. Not only was he still talking with them, but he seemed to be going in the same direction as well. Great, more problems for me to worry about.

"And with a child no less! She must be very resilient for you to travel all the way with her." Suddenly he frowned and eyed Ultear over scrutinizingly. "Is she your…?"

Before Macbeth could even form words with his drying mouth, Ultear answered for him. "Dad?" She tugged at the sleeve of his coat, "up, please."

For a moment, all Macbeth could do was stare at Ultear in shock before slowly, numbly, picking her up. She nuzzled her head against his shoulder while still keeping one eye on the gentleman. Macbeth had never felt so dangerously vulnerable in all his life.

In response, the man gave a quiet chuckle. "They do tucker out easily, huh?"

"…I suppose they do." Macbeth looked at the small Ultear, whose eyes were already starting to close as she snuggled close within him. For the first time since they arrived at the train station, his features softened as he allowed his "daughter" to relax further in his arms.


	23. travel

_xxiii._

Macbeth dropped his heavier items except for the hat and sunglasses once they were inside. The train was warm enough that it would be more suspicious than protective to leave them on. The rest of his clothing was long enough that he didn't think he'd be recognized by any particular marks. Ultear squirmed around him to see out the window, to which he obliged and switched seats with her so she could get an unobstructed view. He rationalized this gesture by saying it would be easier to check for potential problems on the outer seat. As it turned out, he didn't even have to wait that long.

"Oh hello again! So you really are going the same way. Gets a bit spare as you move up, huh?"

A certain round, curly mustached fellow waved as he walked casually over to Macbeth, who had been secretly praying that they would stay far, far away from each other. Unfortunately, as with most prayers he issued, this one went dutifully scorned.

"…Can I help you?"

"Actually, do you mind if I sit with you for a bit? I'm traveling alone and it can be a little lonely going such a great distance by yourself."

 _Or relaxing, if you're into that sort of thing,_ Macbeth sourly thought. He glanced over at Ultear, her eyes glued to the moving landscape whizzing past them. He doubted she would even notice him sitting with them, but Macbeth didn't like the idea of having to check for suspicious activity _and_ deal with the strangely jovial man. Before he could tell him off though, Mikan chose for him and plopped down in the seat opposite Macbeth.

"I won't talk if you don't want to, it's just nice to be in the presence of other people. Call me a shameless extrovert if need be." He gave a warm smile as if things were already settled. Macbeth just grunted and turned back to look down the aisles. He couldn't detect any malice from him, but the edge that came from being on the train as a wanted criminal grew sharper with the close proximity of a stranger.

True to his word though, Mikan didn't so much as give a peep of a thought, instead closing his eyes and tipping his hat down as if to sleep. Annoyed at the thought of this man having the gall to come over and bother him only to _sleep_ (something Macbeth wished he could do himself) made him switch his focus from the aisles to Ultear. As if unconsciously influenced by Mikan's napping, Ultear's eyes began to droop, until she too was asleep, face still pressed up against the glass. Macbeth draped a blanket over her as she snored, huddled in her seat.

His gaze landed on Mikan again. "He can't be _that_ lonely if he's just going to sleep the whole way there," he whispered.

"That's the thing though, usually I'm in far greater company, even when I nap." The voice, muffled from his cap, made Macbeth jolt upwards. "Although, usually they don't give me the pleasure of a very long one." He straightened up and stretched out his arms, removing his hat altogether to reveal the same orange, curly hair as his mustache. "Perhaps that's why I can never sleep quite so deeply anymore."

"…Must be an interesting job if you need to sleep lightly." Macbeth drolled.

"Yes, well when you take care of a number of small children you get used to sleeping lightly."

Macbeth paused. "You work with children?" A thin strand of fear and wariness worked its way into his voice.

"Oh, yes. Me and my wife run a small place that takes care of abandoned children, or more usually those that come from less than uplifting homes. It's…not quite an orphanage; we like to think of it as a place of rest for those kids before we can find them someplace better. Of course," he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "more than a few end up just sticking around, so we think of them all as our kids in the end." He leaned forward, eyes sparkling. "Do you want to see them?!"

"Uh…"

Once again, before he could give an answer, Mikan was already pulling out his wallet and unfurling it to show pictures. Kids of all ages and sizes dotted each photograph, with a fair number of which included Mikan and a woman Macbeth could only assume was his wife. The cheery man began to babble on and on about each child in the photos, and as he did the knot of unease Macbeth had tightly wrapped around his stomach began to unwind. Sure, he was annoying and loud and maybe just a bit oblivious to personal space, but…

"At least you care." He said in a quiet, relieved tone.

Mikan blinked in surprise but soon gave a wide grin. "I sure do. And I wouldn't trade any one of them for anything." His eyes turned to Ultear sleeping in her seat and his smile grew softer. "Although, I'm sure every good parent feels the same way. Don't you feel the same towards your daughter?"

Macbeth turned towards Ultear and frowned, the complicated emotions towards the complicated girl bubbling towards the surface. "I…I don't know. She isn't even really my daughter to begin with…"

Macbeth continued staring before glancing back at Mikan, whose face tilted in confusion. It was just then that Macbeth realized the implications of what he last said and broke into a panic. "I mean! She is–I'm just! She's, uh, adopted. Recently. And she's weird, and–"

"Pffffft."

A snicker arose from the pot-bellied man as he tried not to burst into laughter at the sight of Macbeth struggling. The reflector mage's face turned a bright red and he felt an uncontrollable desire to flee far away from the current situation.

"S-Sorry. I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything, I swear. You just looked so lost in that moment. Kind of like looking in a mirror, really." He straightened out once again, taking a few deep breaths. "It'll get easier though, or, well, maybe 'easier' is a bad word. You'll come to understand her more and her you. So don't look so worried…it'll rub off on her if you're not careful."

 _Rubbed off…_ Macbeth's thoughts began to slow as he eyed Ultear once more. She shivered. The blanket must not be warm enough for her. Or maybe… Slowly, he lifted her up and placed her on his lap, her head resting on his chest as the coat he was wearing tucked her securely in his arms. She gave a small sigh of contentment before nestling back down to sleep.

"See? You're a natural already." Mikan tucked his arms back behind his head and crossed one leg over the other. "I could tell when I first met you. Even if you don't think so yourself, you already respond to her needs pretty much immediately. No wonder she's so attached to you."

Macbeth froze as he stared at Mikan. _Wait, have I been attending to her like that all this time? Is that why she likes hanging around me so much?_ In a daze, his new revelation made him unconsciously draw Ultear closer. A strange feeling of wonder and horror curled around him so he felt all he could do was make sure she was still close by.

"…She is a bit quiet for one her age, I'll give you that much. You might want to get some sleep too though, we're still a while away from our destination. I might be a stranger but maybe you could at least trust me enough to wake you up by the time we arrive? I won't be offended if you say no." A knowing sparkle appeared in his eyes as he made the suggestion.

Macbeth hesitated, but his shoulders soon sank. "I'm a little too distracted to risk falling asleep, I'm afraid. But…if I do happen to nod off, could you wake me up?"

Mikan only smiled. "Will do, uh…" He suddenly appeared a little dazed himself. "Well, this is just embarrassing. I shared my name almost as soon as we met but I never got yours."

"Uh…it's fine. My name's…Chris." Thankfully, he remembered the name Jellal said to use for his backstory case.

"Chris. Well, it's certainly a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"You're not half-bad yourself…Mikan."

The smile on the almost acquaintance grew once more as the train continued making the long, cold trek to its destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever make a character intended for just a brief scene and end up falling completely in love with them? That's Mikan. He's such a good dad y'all.


	24. arrival

_xxiv._

Macbeth yawned and furiously rubbed his eyes. Despite his best efforts the combined ease of talking with Mikan and then having a warm toddler heater cuddle up next to him inevitably resulted in him falling fast asleep alongside her. At the very least, Mikan had kept his word and woke them up (although not until the train was less than five minutes away from the station). Grumpy from his short nap, Macbeth nonetheless hauled the one bag he brought with Ultear off the train, hoping he'd be able to get to the meeting point quickly.

Clearly though, fate had other plans in store for him.

As soon as the three left the train (Mikan tagging behind as they were still, apparently, "heading in the same direction") a voice called out. "Excuse me, yes, you there!"

A strange woman approached Macbeth and glared at him. Even though he didn't recognize her by appearance he could pick out that pouty glare from anywhere. "Mer-" the name died in his lips as Meredy's face contorted into a forced smile.

"Dear… _Chris,_ I hope the train ride wasn't too long~! I'm here to pick you two up~" Her hands deftly reached out and plucked Ultear from his grasp, holding her close and staring at him with cold, annoyed eyes just above a perfectly calculated smile. Macbeth suppressed a shiver at the sheer level of contempt in her expression.

Meredy's hair was, somehow, all tucked away within a large winter hat. Her eye color was also far lighter, he guessed the use of contacts. Like himself, she covered up as much as possible, both for the cold and for warding off unwanted attention. Macbeth was told that the others would take at least a few days to catch up to them, so why was she–

"Oh, hello there!" Both he and Meredy nearly jumped at the sudden loud voice. "I see you know Chris and this little one! Wait a minute…" he eyed the two of them, then closed his eyes in thought before giving a surprisingly cheeky grin. "Oh Chris…why didn't you tell me you were coming all the way up here with your wife!"

A small breeze blew past the three of them. Macbeth was sure his mouth was wide open in…shock? Horror? He didn't know anymore. He was too scared to even _dare_ look at Meredy's face, which he assumed was dark with disgust. He opened his mouth to try and amend the situation.

Which is exactly when Ultear decided to wake up.

"Mom?" Her still sleepy dark eyes looked up at Meredy and somehow, just like Macbeth, she must have recognized her as well. She suddenly began to wriggle out of Meredy's arms, so much so she was almost dropped to the ground. "Mom!"

"Ul-Ul! Stop squirming!" Ultear was soon set down and immediately began to babble on in incoherent toddler speak. This was met by a hearty laugh from Mikan, who looked like he couldn't be enjoying himself more. Macbeth sincerely wished he could use his magic to disappear from human sight forever.

"Well, no helping it at that age, really. But you two seem like you have a good handle on things." He flashed a knowing grin at Macbeth and then looked at the disguised Meredy. "My name's Mikan, pleasure to meet you, miss. I talked with your husband a bit on the train. You two have quite the cute little family going on here. I hope things work out for you." A wink, once again towards Macbeth.

"Well, I should be off. Don't want to keep the kid waiting." With a tip of his hat and a wave he sauntered off, calling out as he left, "and if you're ever in Peony town region, give the Mikan Home a visit! I'm sure your kid would love playing with mine!"

And just as suddenly as he entered into Macbeth's life, he left, none the wiser about anything going on beneath the surface.

Hesitantly, slowly, Macbeth turned his head around to look at Meredy.

Her expression was perfectly neutral, the face of someone either so shell shocked or so absolutely unfazed that it was impossible to tell her true emotions. Her gaze was still glued to Ultear, who continued to babble on at the speed of light. "We should…go."

"Y-yeah. Let's."

Meredy once again scooped up Ultear and the two of them headed out of the quiet train platform, the cold encompassing not just the surrounding environment, but the chilly turn in the mood as well.


	25. needs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay in the upload of this (you know I like that Mon-Fri schedule). Had to gut the middle of this piece which then resulted in rewriting most of the second half.

"Did you actually talk with that guy on the train?"

Meredy's first words as they walked away were a bit different than Macbeth thought they'd be. Mostly he just thought he'd be getting the cold shoulder the rest of the way back. Not that he wouldn't mind that though.

"Talk…is a bit of a stretch. I was talked at a lot. It was annoying."

"Ok, but you didn't say anything about," she swung Ultear around a bit, "this, did you?"

He sighed a bit. "I just mentioned what Jellal said to mention if anyone asks. As far as he knows, 'Chris' is just an average, awkward new father."

Meredy didn't say anything to that, only continuing to trek on with Ultear in her arms. Macbeth grit his teeth in growing irritation.

Winter was beginning to set in down south of them, which meant that the north was already a full-blown snow wonderland. There was a certain solidness that came from the constant freeze and frequent snow that meant even though there was quite a lot, they could walk on and through it safely.

"…I was scared, alright?"

Macbeth stopped staring ahead of Meredy to look at her. She paused to shake snow off some branches.

"I know we agreed to meet with you two a few days from now after we got caught up, but I just couldn't relax knowing she was out of my sight."

"Oh? And I'm sure that had nothing to do with the fact that it was me who was chosen?"

Meredy glared at him, then looked away. "I won't deny I don't like you being around her, but I believe I would have felt this way no matter who was chosen." She took a deep breath, watching it take shape in the cold winter air. "I've...gotten better about leaving her with others. But this would be for days, not hours, and so far away. I've almost lost her more times than I could count. If the one time it really did happen I wasn't there to even do anything about it I-"

"So you're scared for her? Or are you just scared for yourself?" The words left Macbeth's mouth before he could stop himself.

Meredy's gaze sparked hot amidst the cold. But Macbeth didn't let it rest as he continued, "It's probably normal to be afraid for a child if you view yourself as a parent, but I know it's more than that Meredy. I know when fear runs deeper than somebody says." He looked at her cooly, dark red eyes narrowed on the two standing in the snow. She returns his gaze, but only for a moment. Then it breaks.

"She gave everything for me," she starts quietly, "she didn't have to. She shouldn't have, but she did. If I can't do the same for her…" A half-smile appears on her face. "At this rate, maybe I really should just leave. You guys would love that, right? No more crying, no more whining, no more death stares."

Macbeth didn't respond immediately. Meredy shifted awkwardly under Ultear's weight. The toddler's eyes began dropping once again, the excitement of the day's events once again catching up to her.

Then, unexpectedly, he moved to stand right next to her. She almost flinched at his sudden movements. Before she could respond he plucked Ultear from her grasp and settled her within his own.

"Hey, what are you doing-"

"You're tired," he interjected, "since I assume you wasted not a moment in trying to outpace us in order to get here first. Beyond that, I was the one tasked with keeping watch over her until everyone else arrived and since you're the only one here, it's safe to assume that's still in effect."

"Why on Earthland are you being so picky?!"

He paused at the question as if even he didn't know why exactly he suddenly took control. She swallowed, her nervousness only compounded by the fact that Ultear was now cradled in his arms. Finally, he sighed.

"I'm not going to let you run away from this. Nothing will change even if you do run. You don't think that's just going to magically fix everything, right?" He scoffed. "Only children think that way. And you're no child Meredy. You can't afford to be anymore."

She hesitated, and inwardly he braced for a storm, for a yell or a cry as she bemoaned his statements with hostility. Instead, she just eyed him with a look of confusion. "Are you trying to threaten me with her wellbeing?"

"Oh come now, don't think of it as a threat. Think of it as…" he stopped and looked at Ultear, a peculiar look on his face as he mumbled, "as attending to her needs when you can't."

She raised an eyebrow at this. "Are you saying I'm incapable of taking care of her?"

"Only when your maternal instinct becomes smothered by your bullheadedness, which is quite an ironic image now that I think about it."

"…You know you're a real prick sometimes."

"Now now," he gestured to Ultear, "the child is present." Smirking triumphantly, he motioned for Meredy to continue forward, as Macbeth switched from following her to leading.

Meredy inwardly grumbled complaints at him. Macbeth simply hummed contentedly.

The foster mother watched as the former assassin carefully positioned Ultear as he moved, taking great care not to shake her around as they twisted through trees. She had to admit, there was a surprising amount of grace in his movements, far more than she'd ever imagine from a man of his ilk.

His words nestled down in her mind as she suppressed a shiver, one born not out of the freezing weather. She still couldn't tell how he really felt about Ultear, how he really felt about her, but she knew better than to continue arguing when they were alone. Meredy fruitlessly tried thinking about anything else while ignoring the careful hands supporting her daughter as they trekked forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we're officially half way done! I'm very excited to finish off the rest of this and I hope everyone is eager to see the rest! I intend to write most of it before publishing the rest though so it may be a little while before that comes around, but when it starts up again it'll be on a regular schedule until completed.
> 
> As an aside, if anyone has any ideas for chapters comment about them! There'll be a little bit of downtime before things ramp up and then we'll be at the conclusion before long, so if you have a short scene or interaction idea let me know and it may appear before the end.
> 
> Thanks again for reading.


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